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Tulisa Sex Tape

Tulisa Sex Tape

The Tulisa sex tape was the topic of conversation this morning. This happened because I had not been my usual geeky self. I had been given a company mobile, which had belonged to someone else before it became mine. I did not mind this and even enjoyed the messages I got that were for the previous owner. At first I would text back explaining that they had the wrong number, but it seemed to make things worse. I got more and more messages.

In the end, I just did the right thing and responded. I would get a text message asking how jays swimming was going. To which I would respond that he was improving. I would thank some foreign lady for her happy birthday messages despite my birthday being in September.

The one thing I didn’t do was put my own music on the phone. I had one album that the previous owner had left on it. I had heard every song on “R&B Clubland” a million times. As my phone rarely got a signal strong enough to use it as a phone, I carried it around just to listen to the tunes on the way to work.

This morning I had Tulisa’s track “ouch” on. It was obviously a little loud because Joyce immediately asked why I was listening to “THAT GIRL!”. At first I didn’t follow. Tulisa was suddenly the victim of lots of office chat -most of which unrepeatable. The girls with Joyce leading the assault, thought she was trash. They actually swore a few times describing her and the sex tap.

I tried to defend Tulisa but they weren’t listening. They had made their collective minds up. It was safer not to go against the trend. I switched the song off, I just pointed out that she had not made a porn film. She had just messed round with her then boyfriend and a camera phone. But they were not changing their views.

Joyce was explaining that she would never be filmed doing anything like that. I had to wrestle my thoughts to stop myself picturing her. The sex tape came up over and over again, until I asked if any of them had actually seen it. Of course not. I would not watch that! – came the replies.  I resisted the urge to point out they were upset about something they hadn’t seen.

The guys in accounts had seen it, and their reaction was different. When the cheering stopped, they explained that although she was pretty, she lacked technic.  This all just made me want to see it, for research purposes obviously.

As the film is banned, I expected it to be harder to find. It appeared on the first page of search results. I expected the video not to play but it did. After seeing Tulisa’s sex tape, I cannot see what the fuss is about. It’s not sex, it’s barely oral sex. It just looks like a young ish girl having fun with her mr. I could see nothing really wrong with it even after watching it four times. The only mistake she made was trusting her mr after they split up.

You go Tulisa!

I got through the whole post without typing “purple headed womb broom”.

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